double dealer
the diary of a liar.
He knew.
As I walked into our apartment I immediately walk into the kitchen where I smell my favorite food already cooked. It has been freshly made, but the cook is no where to be found.
My instinct is to go upstairs and see if there is something special waiting in there for me. Little did I know that there was something that I never expected.
Petals were scattered everywhere, leading to the master bedroom. What I saw in there brought me to tears. A note.
He knew.
He knew where I had been going out late at night. My excuses would range from a girls night out to a “I have a lot of work to do.”
I could tell he was starting to become suspicious, but I brushed it off. I prayed that he wouldn’t find out. Anyone who did what I did would.
I know what he is feeling. His first reaction is shock. Tears threaten to spill out, but he tries to fight them off. He tries to tell himself that he is overthinking and that I would never do anything like that to him. That I could never do something like that to someone that I love. That I could never do that to someone that I loved.
The tears have won and they begin to pour out. He starts to believe it and immediately wants to break everything in his sight. He is angry. He is hurt. He has been betrayed.
He digs his fingernails into his skin as he clenches his fist, trying to calm himself down. He knows that tomorrow is our anniversary and how this is such awful timing.
He knows what he needs to do.
The next day, I kissed him before I left for work and I could see the hurt in his eyes, but I assumed it was exhaustion. I felt uneasy the whole day.
He packed up all of his stuff and cooked my favorite meal. He made the place look so beautiful. Made me think I had something that I really didn’t. He played me just like I played him.
I deserve it.
I love him. I loved him. Why does this still hurt? I sit on the edge of the bed and my I can feel my heart break and tears stream down my face rapidly as I pick up the note.
“I know.”
